Saying "I Love You"

Growing up, my parents, siblings, extended family and friends always helped me to feel loved. My parents supported us in anything we wanted to do, be it softball, soccer, theater, dance...I had a GREAT childhood. In my awkward middle school years, however, I felt a void. I really wanted to hear people tell me they loved me. That's not something we really did in our family. Did I know they loved me? Heck, yes. But for whatever reason, we just didn't SAY it. I can remember back to sleepovers where my girlfriends would call their parents and say goodnight. They would end the conversation with an "I love you" and that seemed so foreign to me. I had a mini-meltdown in 8th grade where my mom actually had to come pick me up from school because I was such a mess over this issue. I am sure it was mostly teenage hormones, but I think it says a lot about the importance of actually telling someone how much you love them, and telling them often.

Then I met Chris, my Prince, who is now the King of our castle. He threw those three little words out very early on in the relationship. It took me a while to say it; it didn't really come naturally to me. Although I loved him, I just wasn't used to saying it. Overuse of "I love you" can cause it to lose meaning, if you ask me. I wanted him to say it to me, but only when he really meant it, not just out of habit. After almost 13 years, I think we pretty much have it worked out ;)

I used to get upset that Princess Natalie wouldn't say "I love you" back to me. I consciously try to tell her I love her when I am really feeling it, you know? I try to make sure I get eye contact from her and she can see that I mean what I say. I will often add something after it, like "I love you. No matter what!" or "I love you more than I could ever express" or "I love you because..." However, there are times she doesn't respond, she turns her head away and folds her arms, or just ignores me. You have to admit that it hurts! But I also realize that no matter what, she still needs to hear it.

Lately, Princess N has been saying those special words to me more often. Out of the blue, she will look at me and say, "Mommy, I love. You're the best" and go on her merry way. Sometimes, she will pull me in for a hug and say it, or she will tell me how much she loves daddy, Princess Ruthie, and even Willow. I love the spontaneity of how she expresses her love for us! It really shows me that she isn't just saying it in response to someone else saying it. She says it when she is really feeling it. I have told her how much I appreciate this, as I totally think we need to be good communicators with our children. Princess R certainly hears "I love you" quite often from the 3 of us :)

I'm going to pat myself on the back tonight. I think I am doing a pretty good job raising these princesses. It is a tough but rewarding job. Not everyone will agree with the amount of openness and honesty I encourage (even with my 3 year old who knows a lot about a lot of different things) but I am proud of the woman I am and the ones I am encouraging them to be.

If you are reading this, please remember: YOU ARE LOVED. And never feel ashamed about telling and showing others that they are, too. Don't let the way you were raised or people who have hurt you steal the special meaning these words have in your current relationships. Whatever happened, it isn't a good enough excuse...Tell someone tonight, and I mean REALLY tell him/her, how much you love him/her. Tell him/her why, and make sure he or she hears you. If nothing else, look in the mirror and tell yourself.

Have a blessed week!